Constructive feedback, offered in a loving way, helps us grow. When we become more aware of when we’re about to behave in a way that we’ve learned upsets someone, we’ll be more likely to switch gears and do better. Consequently, we’ll probably also improve our relationships with friends, family members, and others.Relationships Relationships Relationships Relationships Relationships
Polishing the Rough Edges
Partners in lasting, fulfilling relationships focus mostly on each other’s positive qualities. But they also respond to each others imperfections constructively and graciously. If they didn’t, they could stay stuck behaving in ways that could distance themselves from each other emotionally.
Rebuke is like sandpaper. Couples who use it wisely, stating it as a request, smooth out each other’s rough edges over time while remaining emotionally close.Relationships Relationships Relationships Relationships Relationships
Jen explains how she does this with her husband. He leave crumbs on the counter, which annoys her. She simply tells him nicely, “It would help me out if you would wipe the crumbs off the counter.”
A friend told her fiancé about an engagement ring she liked, “It would make me happy if you would get me this one.”
Regardless of how nicely you put it, however, there’s no guarantee that the person will do what pleases you.Relationships Relationships Relationships Relationships Relationships
But how will you know if you don’t try? Regardless of the outcome, you’re likely to learn something. It may be to accept minor imperfections, or it may be that the world doesn’t come to an end when we ask for what we want. Or, as often happens, we learn that our partner wants to please us and to do his best to make us happy.