How Do You Get What You Want in Relationships — Do You Rebuke or Request?

In a good relationship, partners express appreciation for each other often. They also say in kind ways what they want and what they don’t want. They don’t expect their partner to read their mind.

So don’t be afraid to ask for what you want.

Keeping a grievance inside can result in a relationship-destroying grudge. Calmly bringing up a matter that distresses you can clear the air and renew the warm feelings that were there before knots started tying up your insides.Relationships Relationships Relationships Relationships Relationships

This doesn’t mean you should point out every little fault or mistake. For a relationship to remain healthy, it’s important to tolerate minor annoyances and focus on the big picture of how well the two of you get along.

Virtually no one wants to feel criticized, so it helps to process your thoughts and emotions before speaking up. Instead of holding on to feeling wronged by the person, you’ll be able to focus more on what you’d like him (or her) to do differently. Your words, voice tone, and body language can convey your request in a way that shows loving concern. You’re wanting him to stop doing something that is harmful to himself, yourself, or others.Relationships Relationships Relationships Relationships Relationships

Examples of How to Request

Lynne liked Hunter very much. The first time he seemed to be flirting with the waitress who served their dinner, she thought she might be imagining it. Not wanting to make a big deal over what could be nothing, she held her tongue. But it happened two more times, and she felt insecure.  He was thirty-five and ready to settle down, he’d said, but he wasn’t acting that way.Lynn told herself he couldn’t be couldn’t be serious about her if he enjoyed chatting it up with waitresses. She was tempted to stop seeing him, but wasn’t quite ready because he has so many good qualities.

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